Wind or Wounds
"Rage builds over time as a result of cumulative suppressed emotions precipitated by voicelessness"--Kenneth V Hardy in Healing the Hidden Wounds of Racial Trauma
Ezekiel was a priest of Israel who was forcefully exiled when he was only 25 years old. While in exile in ancient Babylon, he had an encounter with God that changed everything. Its so tempting to focus on the message of Ezekiel while ignoring the person of Ezekiel. Those who are familiar with the book of Ezekiel know that he not only is commissioned to speak the word of God but often was asked to act them out through becoming a literal human metaphor (you have to read the book to understand this). He was largely misunderstood and frequently maligned during his ministry.
The age of 30 is the age in which those who are in the priestly line become eligible to serve in the Temple. One can imagine that during his years growing up, filled with studying and careful observation of the sacred priesthood, that he developed a holy yearning to serve God and his people through Temple service. So, imagine the disorientation and the disenchantment that Ezekiel experiences when he is forcefully exiled to Babylon and now is celebrating his 30th birthday, in a refugee camp, far away from the Temple, the city of Jerusalem, and the lands that were the inheritance of his faith. Disorienting because his current experience shatters the cultural and religious narrative in which framed his self-identity. In other words, without the Holy Land, without the Holy Temple, and without the presence of God Almighty (as God's presence was associated with the Temple), who am I? Is God reliable? Is there any hope?
Until recently, we did not recognize the role of trauma in our approach to one another. Trauma is a emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental assault on a person's sense of wholeness. It can be something obvious like physical assault or something ubiquitous like persistent and pervasive microaggressions. Either way, the response to trauma is to protect oneself from further pain and injury through classic fight or flight responses. Yet sometimes, like in Ezekiel's case, neither fight or flight is an option. In those cases, we get what psychologists and sociologists call "traumatic wounding". Jennifer Baldwin describes traumatic wounding: "When a person's vulnerabilities exceed their internal and external resources of support and stabilization, traumatic wounding occurs" (Trauma-Sensitive Theology, 2018).
Ezekiel, like many people today, are victims of traumatic wounding that seeks to disrupt and destroy the victims sense of identity as well as destroy their sense of faith. Disenchantment is the loss in power and uniqueness of something. In Ezekiel's case, it would be easy to understand how his understanding of the power and presence of God would be greatly shaken.
It is in this context that Ezekiel has an encounter with God. The entire vision is described in the first chapter of the book of Ezekiel and summarized in verse 28 when it says "this was how the form of the Lord's glory appeared". Ezekiel encounters a visible manifestation of the significance of God, commonly called the "Glory of God". It is almost impossible to imagine the impact of this vision on Ezekiel. Verse 3 of the first chapter reads "The Lord's word burst in on the priest Ezekiel, Buzi's son, in the land of Babylon at the Chebar River. There the Lord's power overcame him.". The word of the Lord "burst in on him" and he was "overcome" with the Lord's power. Think about this in light of his disorientation, disenchantment and discouragement.
After an encounter with the visible Glory of God, we find that the newly commissioned prophet falls before the vision in reverence to the Holiness and Power of God. Interestingly, it is the wind (metaphor for God's Spirit) that lifts the prophet up and propels him to participate in the mission of God. That spirit fueled energy is perceived as "bitterness" and "deep anger". Both of these words in Hebrew suggest a heat or illnesses that comes from poisoning. It is a righteous anger that reflects God's word in this particular context (Israel had been disobedient and practiced idolatry and social injustice). He was on fire.
This is a stock photo but it is my imagination of Ezekiel if he lived today. He would be a traumatized young man who being wounded everyday, and is disoriented, disenchanted, and discouraged. He has experienced a continued anger, not because of an engagement with God's glory, but because persistent wounding. Disenchanted and discouraged, misunderstood and maligned, this modern day Ezekiel has a righteous anger in response to his treatment based more upon his color of skin, and the location of his home than the content of his character or potential of his giftedness.
God knew that Ezekiel was wounded and that in order to begin his healing, God would need to reveal Godself through an appropriate revelation of God's sovereignty, majesty, fidelity and power. Ezekiel is then re-oriented, re-enchanted, and encouraged through the power and presence of the Spirit. It is with that Glory encounter that the prophet is able to give a message of not only warning, lament, and mourning, but also a message of hope.
That is the difference between ministering through your wounds and ministering through the wind. We all have wounds, but it is scars that give your leadership credibility and power. When we are angry through our wounds alone, it is often an anger that seeks to prevent further wounding, but does not seek healing of the wounding people. Wind fueled leadership seeks to prevent further wounding (through truth telling, repentance, lament, and repair) but also offers a message of hope that benefits both the victim and the oppressing people or persons.
Lately, I have felt angry and have found myself repeating Moses' prayer "Please show me your glorious presence." (Ex 33:18). Sometimes in our woundedness, we need an encounter with God afresh to focus our anger (intense feelings to right a wrong or injustice) by re-establishing who we are and re-enchanting our vision. The Bible states that we should "Be angry without sinning." and that we should not allow the passion that goes with that anger fade as it gives an opportunity for the devil. (Eph 5:26-27).
Sometimes our anger is sinful but more often it is a red flag that something is wrong. God understands that. God, using today's language, is a Trauma-Sensitive God who understands what you have been through and how you are harmed. God spoke to Moses and said "I've clearly SEEN my people oppressed in Egypt. I've HEARD their cry of injustice because of their slave masters. I KNOW about their pain" (Ex 3:7). Seeing wounded people and hearing and believing their experiences and acknowledging the pain that has been caused is the start of the healing process.
I do not know if you feel angry, slighted, disoriented, discouraged, or disenchanted? The response is to cry out to God and ask God to see God's glory! Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggemann states that "human cry evokes divine resolve.".
Lord show us your Glory!
Let my passion be compelled by your wind and not driven by my woundedness.
Show us your Glory!
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